Broken Memories
by starwarsfreak95
Summary: Luke is cleaning his apartment for the first time since his Mara died. He comes upon something that brings back his memories of her.


Luke was cleaning up the apartment for the first time in a while. He washed clothes, cleaned up the kitchen, and everything else. Then he went into their bedroom. His bedroom now. He made up the bed and as he did, something green fell off the bed. He crept over and saw that it was a filmy, sparkly green scarf. His eyes filled with tears as he remembered when he bought it for his beloved Mara.

She had wanted to go window shopping when they went to Corellia. It was soon after they had gotten married, and he was, of course, happy to indulge her. They had walked around for hours, just a normal couple walking in the market. She had seen the beautiful scarf and her green eyes had lit up to that same exact shade of green. She had led him over to it excitedly and asked the price. Her face had fallen at the expense. She walked out of the shop and they went a few stores down to get something to eat. Luke had excused himself and ran down to the store. He had bought the scarf and presented it to her when they returned to Han and Leia's place. When she had looked at it, a peculiar expression had crossed her face and Luke could've sworn that she had tears in her eyes. But she had simply looked directly into his blue eyes with her vibrant green ones and said, "thank you."

He brought the scarf up to his face and he breathed in her familiar, light scent. More memories surfaced with the smell.

Their wedding. Mara was radiant in white with her bridesmaid, Leia, in blue. Luke had been vaguely nervous, especially being escorted by Han. Their wedding had been small and private, but very beautiful. He could still see the sparkle in Mara's green eyes as her flaming red hair brightened them...

His fear for her as she fought off the disease brought by the Yuzhann Vong. His fear for her life and the life of their unborn child...

Mara, swollen with their child. Never taking herself out of the war, yet never daring to put her unborn child in danger. He remembered feeling her delight in the Force as she felt their baby's first movements...

Mara's beautiful hair plastered to her face with sweat and her eyes exhausted, holding their newborn son, Ben. They handed the baby to Luke as they went to clean Mara up and he looked into a mirror of his own eyes framed by a tiny tuft of flaming red hair...

Mara's delight with her son's first steps and all of his other firsts...

Watching Mara nurture her niece, Jaina Solo, as she taught Jaina how to be the best Jedi that she could be. Mara's pride in her Padawan learner's accomplishments. The sparkle of tears in Mara's eyes when Jaina got her knighthood- and her prophecy...

Mara's graceful movements as she learned and mastered the intricacies of a lightsaber and so many other aspects of the Force. The pride he sensed in her Force presence as she got her own knighthood...

A thousand smiles, hugs, kisses only for him and the love they shared. He still wondered if she'd truly known how much he loved her...

Then that feeling. The feeling like the entire universe had just disappeared out from under his feet. The shattering of his heart and soul. The sudden need to fly directly into a black hole. Like he had become. All the light in his life was gone. Every little bit. And it vanished with the light brushing of his hair by the presence he knew was his Mara's...

All of his anguish came rushing back at the reminder of her recent death. He clutched the scarf to his chest as he fell to his knees. The silent tears that had been falling as he remembered his wife's life turned into body wracking sobs as he relived all he had left of her presence over and over. He wondered in his sobbing if there was anything left to live for without her. He had loved her more than anything in the universe, and now she was gone. Gone forever. He felt like he'd fallen short in loving her. Somehow. Now he'd never be able to atone for any mistakes he had made with her. His life was worthless now. There was nothing to live for. He should take his lightsaber and end it here and now. There was nothing left.

Suddenly, he felt an alarmed, yet familiar presence in his mind. His mind and heart were overwhelmed with a wave of love and comfort and sympathy undertoned with sorrow and hurt and sorrow for his hurt and a curious emotion that seemed to radiate an ache to take his sorrow away. Then he jumped as he felt a pair of arms around him.

He looked up to see the big brown eyes of his twin sister, Leia, as she hugged him with tears streaming down her own face. The red rimmed eyes of his brother-in-law and best friend, Han, were on him as Han held his weeping daughter, Jaina. He looked over to see Ben crying as he knelt down and held his arms out to Luke.

Luke took his weeping son into his arms as they all huddled together to grieve for the friend, sister, mother, mentor, and love that they lost.


End file.
